For most of my adult years, I felt both physically fit and mentally balanced. That shifted in my late 30s after a divorce, followed by a long-term relationship that slowly drained me. I spent years prioritizing others—my partner and his children—while neglecting my own needs. During that time, I gained weight, struggled with persistent lower-back and knee pain, and no longer recognized or liked the person I saw in the mirror.
Choosing Myself and Starting Fresh
Craving real change, I finally decided to put myself first. In a very cliché yet life-defining moment, I ended that eight-year relationship in March 2021. I was just weeks away from turning 50 and wanted to begin the next decade with a clean slate. My aim was to feel strong, confident, and capable, and that meant committing seriously to my health and fitness.
Returning to Fitness With a New Mindset
The gym wasn’t unfamiliar territory. Years earlier, my ex-husband and I had opened Seattle’s first Anytime Fitness, and I’d worked with personal trainers off and on. This time, however, I wanted structured guidance, especially around nutrition, so I could finally stay consistent.
Two weeks after my breakup, inspired by a friend’s visible transformation online, I hired her trainer, Victoria Scott, who is now my long-term coach.
Early Progress and Physical Changes
Within just three weeks of training, I noticed significant improvements in both my energy levels and body composition. We began with compound movements using lighter weights to master proper form. Each week focused on getting stronger through progressive overload, whether that meant more reps or heavier dumbbells.
Learning How to Fuel My Body Properly
Alongside training, I followed a macro-based nutrition plan designed by my coach, with an emphasis on protein and whole, nutrient-dense foods. I had always believed I was eating well, but I didn’t truly understand how to maintain a caloric deficit effectively. With guidance, I learned how to track macros consistently and increase my protein intake to support muscle growth and satiety. My go-to protein sources include egg whites, shrimp, smoked salmon, and Greek yogurt.
Confidence, Strength, and Mental Growth
Within weeks, I was visibly losing weight and getting stronger, which fueled my motivation. My weekly progress photos confirmed the physical changes, while the mental health benefits were just as powerful.
A few months later, I developed noticeable muscle definition in my arms and legs, and my confidence and self-worth grew alongside my strength. I had more energy than I’d felt in years and began to truly understand the importance of taking care of myself first.
Training Strong in My 50s
Now at 54, my focus is on muscle balance, stability, and functional strength. More than four years later, I still train virtually with Victoria four days a week—two upper-body and two lower-body sessions. Each workout lasts about an hour and includes five to six exercises using free weights and machines, with progressive overload remaining a core principle.
Workouts Built for Longevity
My training plan evolves every six weeks, but staple movements include squats, deadlifts, Romanian deadlifts, lateral raises, and focused biceps and triceps work. I also rely heavily on unilateral exercises to correct imbalances, improve stability, and build functional strength on both sides of my body.
Strength Wins Beyond the Gym
While some back pain still lingers, I’m incredibly proud of how far I’ve come. I started barely lifting 70 pounds and can now confidently perform a 125-pound Romanian deadlift. I also walk for at least an hour daily, which proved invaluable during a three-week trip to Japan with my son, where we averaged over 20,000 steps a day. That experience highlighted just how life-changing strength can be.
The Three Shifts That Made It All Possible
1. Building Small Habits That Support Consistency
To stay consistent, I focus on habits that remove friction from my routine. I grocery shop and meal prep every weekend, pack my gym bag the night before, and choose a gym that’s conveniently located near both home and work. Creating ease and lowering barriers has made long-term consistency achievable.
2. Surrounding Myself With Supportive People
After years of giving without equal support, finding a community changed everything. Through my coach, I connected with a group of strong, like-minded women committed to healthy living in their 40s, 50s, and beyond. Whether celebrating wins or sharing encouragement, this community genuinely wants me to succeed.
3. Letting Go of a Final Destination
I initially set out to lose 20 pounds and build muscle. Once I surpassed that goal, I realized I didn’t want limits. Strength training opened doors I hadn’t imagined, making me physically stronger, mentally tougher, and more confident. Fitness became a lifelong journey, not a finish line.
A Lifelong Commitment to Self-Care
What began as a midlife return to the gym, paired with a macro-focused approach, has transformed how I feel in my mid-50s. This journey has reshaped my relationship with my body, my confidence, and my belief in what’s still possible. I’ll continue showing up, because taking care of myself has changed everything.
